What if? How and when?
by Hells Cain
Summary: What if Skulduggery Pleasant never met Valkyrie Cain the way they have? What if they already knew each way back, during the war time. There will be Valduggery.
1. Chapter 1

**_Authors Note_****: I hope you Valduggery fans love this idea**

**~#~**

_They were at war.  
They were losing soldiers.  
They were desparate for a change of luck. _

_Eachan Mertitorious stood before his generals at the base of their operations. Which was basically a thousand of smaller tents protecting the bigger one at the center. After yet another disappointing performance on the battle field today they were in dire need of a new strategy._

_"If we send our strongest allies out front our enemy will dessimate each and every one of them. What if Lord Vile wipes them all out?" said one of the generals._

_"It's our only shot old friend. I think we might have our opening... Speaking of Vile, has anyone seen him recently?"_

_Everyone shook their heads._

_"If he isn't on the field for a couple more days we can send the Necromancers to lead in front instead of the dead men."_

_"You know the necromancers can be trusted as far as we can throw them these days." the other replied coldly_

_"Send out the dead men out front you know they won't fail us."_

_Meritorious's looked at the man as if he were the most daftest thing beside the war. _

_"Without Skulduggery, you mean?"_

_The others looked at him expectedly._

_"Absaloutley not!" he barked_

_"...Look..." one of them said unsure of how to approach the subject. "Skulduggery disappeared five years ago, without a trace, we must consider the posibility that he might not... be ... with us. Shouldn't we atleast test the rest of them before sending them out to war? Make sure that they don't need him?" _

_Before their leader could even debate about it, someone barged into the tent, startling everyone in the process._

_"Who dares enter?!" _

_When the intruder finally had eveyones full attention they all gasped at the remains of what was once a noble man. His breathing was ragged even though he had no pair of lungs. He was skin and bone under a now shredded navy blue suit, though no skin was visible. It was if time stood still for this being, it was impossible, it was..."_

_"Skulduggery Pleasant." Eachan grinned. "You look different."_

_"I should certainly hope not!" he said._

_"Did you do something with your hair?"_

_Skulduggery sighs and told him in mock-hurt. "All gone. Life goes on I'm afraid" then he laughs_

_"His gone mad!" one of the generals exclaims._

_Skulduggery goes quiet and whirls on the owner of the voice and his reply is rather cold. "One tends to catch nasty things when they've seen their wife and child murdered in front of their very eyes." He advances onto his adversary who now pales as he gets a full view what what seems to be a walking, talking skeleton. "And then you wake up a pile of bones in a bag washed up from the river. Why don't you try positioning every dislocated bone in your body so that you may has some small part of normalacy like walking!"_

_The tension in the room was so thick you could have sliced it with a sword. Everyone in the tents realxes once Skulduggery requests an audience with Eachan._

_When the two gentleman are reluctantly left alone, Skulduggery finally breaks down and lets out all the fraustration and sorrow he had bottled up for nearly five years._

_"I truly am sorry Skulduggery. I know what it's like to lose a wife, but I couldn't imagine the pain of losing a newborn daughter."_

_Skulduggery sighs and tries to compose himself the best he can. "I didn't come here for sympathy Eachan, I came here to win a war." _

_He sighs despite himself. "What are you thinking about Skulduggery? It's rather hard to know what a man like you has on his mind these days." he chuckles._

_"I saw your daughter today Eachan. She helped pull me together, quite litterly in fact. I thought she would hate me once I chose to fight in the war without her."_

_"War is no place for a teenager Skulduggery." Eachan took a seat and buried his face in his hands. " What am i to do with her? She wasn't supposed to be out of the house let alone near the river."_

_"Treasure her Eachan. Respect her wishes. Lifes too short."_

_"And its even shorter when we're at war." he reminded_

_Skulduggery nodds his head gravely, though he's not comprehending his friends words. _

_"She's got Ancient blood in her Eachan, I think you can expect this much rebellion from a nineteeen year old." Skulduggery got up and headed for the door. "Give her my thanks when you see her again would you?"_

_All the old sod could do was nod. "I hope to see you on the other side my friend."_

_"Me too Eachan." and with, that he left._

_Skuludggery wondered what his friends got up to for these past five years._


	2. Chapter 2

_Skulduggery walked past all the soldiers sleeping soundly in their tents, in to the trees. There, he would find his friends. Maybe he would just pop by and give them a quick scare for old times sake. 'Or maybe I could just wake them up, surely that has to be punishment enough,' he mused to himself. As he drew closer he could make out a faint little light still lit inside one of five tents. Before he had a chance to walk in though, he spotted a fist aimed in his direction, he swiftly dodged it and held the owner's arms in a hand lock._

_The mans eyes widened. "You're a skeleton, b-b-ut that's impossible."_

_"Dear god Erskine Ravel, have you being drinking again?" Skulduggery asked, mercifully releasing the man from his entrapment._

_"Skulduggery! Oi Boys! Look who I brought home!" he then struggled out of his grip " Let me go you disappearing Skeleton ass."_

_"Erskine you bastard! What gives you the right to wake me up at two in the morning!"_

_"Good morning to you too Vex."_

_"Do my eyes decieve me? Ravel, hand me my night light would you?"_

_Erskine rolled his eyes."I think I broke that over your big head for waking me up two nights ago."_

_Dexter rolled his eyes. "I'll just borrow Ghastly's" he said then cringed as the man spoke._

_"No you may not!"_

_"Ghastly! Dexter! Shudder! Front in center men! We need to organize ourselves a welcome party."_

_"Skulduggery!" someone screeched as they ran for him. "The dead men are finally back together again." the man jumped on him causing him to lose his balance and fall to the ground. _

_"Ouch! Please get off me."_

_"Well most of us." Shudder said ignoring him and gave Skulduggery a once over along with a small smile. "Welcome back... bone-head"_

_"Thanks Shudder, could you give me a hand?"_

_Anton looked as though he was considering it for a moment then he decided against it. He shook his head."Serves you right for leaving in the first place."_

_"I had to leave, claim back my sanity..." Everyone waited for him to continue expecting more to the story. "I had to mourn, Shadow and James were tortured in front of my very eyes. Serpine used them to get to me. And it worked, for a while, I promise you guys this time i won't let that bastard win... besides i think I fit the dead man description quite perfectly."_

_They all chuckled. "Your tent is still were you left it Skul, that is ...er... if you still need it."_

_Skulduggery thought about it for a while and shook his skull. "I'll stand watch, you guys go and catch some well deserved sleep. We have a big day tomorrow, Eachan's betting his cards on us. He doesn't really have much choice."_

_Erskine grinned."And we wouldn't have it any other way. Right boys?" he asked hoping for a musketeer moment. Instead all he got was muffled complaints, yawns and a few _good nights.

_With his life back to normal... or as normal as he could get it to be, Skulduggery felt at peace. This was who he really was, with his friends, fighting for their people, fighting for the good side of things. The only regret he's had for his actions during the past five years was the look on his best friend's face when he killed his mother. He slowly slipped into his meditative state up in a tree, and after a few seconds, the world went quiet._


	3. Chapter 3

The war had ended 400 years ago. It seemed as if it were only yesterday when she helped Skulduggery arrange himself back together, she's watched him mature in a better light, although feared, he was also to be respected especially since her father appointed him for the position of the head detective of the Irish Sanctuary. She sighed, she hasn't spoken to her father in years, she was believed dead after she ran away during the war. She found out that Eachan Meritorious had adopted her, for what reason, she didn't know, all she did was cause trouble. It wasn't like she could ever help it, she has a penchant for raising Cain. Her heart broke when one of their fellow Elders stabbed her father in the back, she had never regretted anything more in her life, she was his only family left and she didn't offer him one small goodbye.

A few tears escaped their barrier before she realized. She flew over one roof top to another, heading towards the Sanctuary. It was time to make an appearance, if not for her and her pathetic excuse of a social life, then for her father, the man who had saved her off the streets during the war, when her birth mother wasn't able to provide for her anymore. Eachan took her in at just six months of age, and this was her being grateful for it.

She began her descent and immedeatly began to feel her nerves kicking in. It's been four hundred years, walking into this Sanctuary could only bring suspicion to anyone who saw her, anyone at all beside one man with a guilty concious and the heart a size of a whale. Of course his ego played a major role in that equation too. When her feet touch pure Irish soil she smiled, it was good to be home. Valkyrie Cain was back.

**~#~**

She crossed the desserted parking area and ran for the Bentley, manipulating the air so that she managed to jump on top of it from three feet away. The head detective and a rather... mortal looking man... headed in her direction. When they got closer she could see that Skulduggery was far lost in thought, that was never a good sign. She sat there for five more minutes, unoticed, and highly amused. The mortal man seemed to be throwing a trantrum, either that or his leaping for joy... or he just needed to pee. Skulduggery seemed to be highly aggitated, when he glanced behind him I could see why. There were two Cleavers dressed in _normal_ clothing... Why were they following them? She sighed, that skeleton must've gotten into trouble again.

_Guild was probably trying to keep tabs on them._

She cursed herself. _Darn that wise voice! _It just couldn't leave her alone.

All of a sudden she had an urge to keep her being alive a secret for a little longer. Should she interfer now there was a chance that she might get a surveilance team watching her every move? That's the last thing she needed right now. She has had four hundred years of freedom and she was determined not about to give that up anytime soon.


	4. Chapter 4

This was impossible! Gordon wouldn't shut up! The man continued to argue for two hours straight!

The worst part is that the sanctuary seemed to think Miss Cain was alive. Which is of course incorrect. He knew she was dead, he watched the life seep from her body.

**_*Flashback*_**

"Skulduggery! Watch out!" She shouted.

He turned around and came in contact with a necromancer's spear, he prepared himself for the hit that never came. By the time he had realized what happened Valkyrie was on her knees. The spear buried deep inside her armor.

Skulduggery reacted like lightning he drew the sword from her belt and drove it into the necromancer's heart.

_***End of Flashback***_

It didn't matter if they won the war that day. He lost the only person that mattered to him. Eachan told him that she was of age, and he was going to give her hand in marriage. Skulduggery knew that she wouldn't agree to her father's wishes, but he also didn't know whether or not she would accept _his_ proposal.

What's worse is that he was the unfortunate soul to delliver a daughter's dead body to her father. Just like him Eachan had nothing left. He didn't tell his friend that she died saving him. That wouldn't bode well for their friendship. He felt selfish, even after offering Eachan his full support and loyalty, he hated himself for not telling him the truth...

He shook his head. The point was that Valkyrie was dead.

He was disturbed from his thoughts by a raging Gordon. Apparently he didn't like the _spies _Guild had assigned to watch over them either.

"Who's that sitting on your Bentley?" Gordon asked.

Skulduggery looked at his beautiful car and saw no one. He chuckled.

"Your losing it Gordyn."

"I could've sworn I just saw her." he muttered

This caught Skulduggery's attention. "_Her_?"

"Yeah. She was head to toe dressed in black. She looked familiar... "

Skulduggery visibly tensed. "How familiar?"

"Skulduggery... I know you don't like talking about it, but you have to consider the possibility that she's back." he said to his old friend in an apologetic tone.

"... Valkyrie Cain is back." he whispered


	5. Chapter 5

Valkyrie rubbed her hands in anticipation. Skulduggery better be grateful. She flew in the rain for _him. _Clearly that must have counted for something... right?

It had been two weeks since she was last sited near the Sanctuary. Tracking down Skulduggery's mortal friend was a piece of cake. All she had to do was fly pass her favourite book store and _voilà_! Turns out _the_ famous Gordon Edgley was a mortal author who discreetly wrote about the magic world... was he allowed to even do that? She didn't want to make an appearance at Cemetry Road... yet. She just wasn't ready to face her former friend. It would be a long time until he forgave her for... She shook her head of her thoughts, there wasn't any purpose to dwell upon that now.

She rang the doorbell at the Edgley estate and prayed the mortal was home, she was getting drenched in the rain. When she heard someone work through the locks on the other side, she froze. Until this moment she hadn't realized that she was going to be acquianted with a _person. _Not a mage or magical creature, a mear mortal. What was she going to do? How was she supposed to act?!

When the door finally opened Valkyrie got a quick look at a middle aged man before her vision was blurred and the darkness enveloped her.

_**~#~**_

Gordon had absaloutley no idea what to do. This girl was practically royalty... and looked practically dead... again! With all the strength he could muster he managed to carry her inside to the living room couch. How did he ever get into these situations? Wait, why did the girl come here? Of all places... She probably saw him with Skuldugery and came to him for help. Oh no! How is Skulduggery going to react to this. His thoughts were interrupted by his awaking guest.

When her eyes fluttered open and she remembered where she was, she bolted into a sitting position. Gordon stuck his hand out.

"Hello my name is Gordon Edgley, I'm the owner of this establishment." Gordon inwardly cursed himself for sounding so formal.

"Valkyrie Cain." she replied shyly.

An awkward silence soon followed.

"... So.. er.. Would you care for some tea?" he offered and got up

"Nothankyou." she said quickly

Gordon sat back down and regarded her clothing.

"I... don't have a change of clothes that would fit you. Come sit closer to the fire." he gestured to the fire place

"I know what you're doing." she said with her eyes down. He looked at her with a curious expression. " And I think it's really sweet, but please, no... formalities. Can i just get to the point of why I'm here?"

"Sure, but wouldn't you get comfortable first. I already have an idea as to why you're here. You on the other hand look completely lost."

She considered it. He did have a point, and she really didn't like soaking his furniture. But how could she impose on him unannounced like this?

"Would you like a tour?" the words came out of his mouth before he thought it through. Damn! _Why would she want a tour Gordon!_

Valkyrie looked up in confusion, then she realized that he was trying to be hospitable. "Sure."

He gave her a warm smile and gestured to the stair case. While they walked up Valkyrie decided to get to know him better. "I'm really sorry about dropping by like this, but you're the only person that i know that can help me."

"Think nothing of it, I do tend to get rather lonesome."

"I love your books. Are all your tales inspired by your adventures with Skulduggery?"

Gordon chuckled. "Some of them are inspired by _stories _he told me."

She looked down and became aware of the state she was in. "Can I used the bathroom?"

"Three doors down, to your left."

"Thanks. "

"I'll be over here, when you're done." he said and pointed to the entrance to his study.

"Okay."


	6. Chapter 6

The two recently met acquaintances seated themselves in Gordon's' private study. The writer thought it would be proper to serve tea while they had a conversation to make his guest feel less tense. Valkyrie decided to avoid the topic of their common friend at the moment. But knowing Skulduggery Pleasant, he tended to keep very curious company, for all she knew she may not make it out of this mansion without a serious mental search.

"I heard about what happened to my adopted father and thought it would only be polite to offer my condolences. The man practically raised me after all."

Gordon nodded. Though he wasn't sure it was her only reason for this unexpected return. He didn't know how to get her to stay long enough for his partner to arrive; he knew how thrilled Skulduggery would be if he found out she was alive. He rarely spoke of her but when the topic came up you could tell by his posture and the sound of his voice that he was rather fond of her.

"Where were you when you heard the news?"

"In Sydney, Australia. My adoptive father managed to build up an establishment for me there. I heard about the news the day it happened."

Gordon practically choked on his tea. Meritorious _knew. "You faked your own death?!"_

She rolled her eyes and brushed her hair to the side of her face. "Oh please. It wasn't as if it was my idea anyways. Way back then we were winning the war. Lord Vile was nowhere to be seen, Skulduggery was back to lead the Dead men into battle. A new era began, but I never got to celebrate it before I was shipped off to India for protection."

Her companion fell quiet, noting these grave secrets Eachan Meritorious took to his grave. He cringed at the way she died; to save Skulduggery's life. And after all this time the now Ex-Grand Mage knew about that which Skulduggery had refused to tell him.

"He was eaten up by guilt you know. You were his favorite student. Could you not have called or-"

"Look I know you are a good friend of his. And you have a right to worry about him, but I was in INDIA of all places, four hundred years ago technology, airplanes or shipment routes didn't exist. I didn't know that Skulduggery was still alive; I mean he was all bone the last time I checked, I thought he might have perished by now. The only reason I had returned to Ireland was because Eachan Meritorious is dead."

"What do you mean?" he said as he took another sip of his tea.

She leaned back in the chair and raked her hands through her hair. Then he noticed the far off look in her eyes as if she were remembering something hurtful.

"He wasn't all righteous as you all thought he was you know." she gave a dry laugh. "He was born for the position as the Grand Mage."

"I thought the magical community based their voting rights upon diplomacy." he spoke and furrowed his brow in thought. "Who would actually believe that the sanctuary would be lead by a monarchy?"

She snorted. "The magical community didn't care at the time who ruled, but they respected my father because he always treated them as equals and enforced his rules in the name of peace, not power. Then other countries decided to follow by example and after that no one spoke of witchcraft or sorcery ever again."

"He did all that?" asked Gordon. He looked impressed. "I didn't know he was that influential."

"Yes, but it was only part of the reason he was elected. If he failed to prove his superior qualities in leadership, strength and intellect to his predecessor then he would have been disowned and the next sibling of his line would have taken his place and so on." she took another sip of her beverage and continued with the story.

"My point was that..." she began to look nervous."The Grand Mage didn't have time to start a new family after the war and when he found me... it wasn't under good circumstances." she took a deep breath and tried to approach the topic in a different manner.

Gordon realized what she was doing but waited patiently for her to talk to him. It wasn't everyday that he got the magical folk to open up and he was hungry for information.

"I had a very difficult childhood, I got involved in the S_orcerer War Trade_... you do know what those are, don't you?"

"Yes, I've heard about them once or twice though everyone heavily avoided the subject." He sighed as he remembered all the times he tried to pry for information from other sorcerers, he never made many friends that way, and he was instantly shot down. He never spoke to those sorcerers ever again. Skulduggery said that they were just scared, but of what, he didn't know. He figured it a lot more than him re-writing their story.  
"All I know was that it was basically a magical wrestling match. Except there were no rules. All types of combats were used in the ring, and that it was made illegal a few decades after it was introduced."

"It was worse than that. I was told that my mother had abandoned me as a baby. The man in charge of the SWT was an ex-necromancer priest by the name of Mallirious Web. He raised me and worked me to the core as a slave. I thought it was bad until I decided to get rebellious ideas into my head, it was not the time or the place but i didn't know any better. I was just a seven-year old girl." she looked to be on the verge of tears but her pride allowed her to press on and brush the theatrics aside.

"So I practiced hard, whenever i got the chance. I even dreamt about practicing and all these thoughts about manipulating magic to my will boosted my self-confidence too high. One day I thought I could take him on and he ended defeating me and eventually sealed my powers in a collar he made me wear. I was used in the fights for three years until the Sanctuary raided the place. Meritorious was watching me and displayed interest in my type of magic, he made me his daughter." she whispered coarsely.

"Mallirious happened to break out of the gaol while being deported and then came after me. It was then that i managed to get out of the collar was defend myself against him. He died." she said while giving a slight smirk which made Gordon smile.

"He protected me from all those who held a grudge from shutting down the games. And over time I learned his ways and began to put a little faith in him. I found out the rules of the monarchy myself after a while of adjusting." She grew quiet. "I was treated like a Queen in that castle, but I was to be married once I became the next Grand Mage."

She heard a gasp and could've sworn that the man staring at her almost bowed. She shook off her thoughts. "I made the administrators change the rules. I told Father that we should vote for the next Grand mage if situation calls for it, as the mortals do now for their president. That way we wouldn't be blamed if something went wrong. Then he decided that dealing with work was too much so he sent his only daughter to look for Mages that could measure up to his standards to rule the sanctuary with him. I refused as his first candidate, he took it surprisingly well, and said that when my time came I would choose other wise. So I applied as a soldier which he took to his advantage, and staged my death."

"He meant a lot to you didn't he?" He asked her softly.

"Sent me a post card every week, a present every birthday, a phone call every decade, and all his royalties in his only death. He meant _everything_ to me." he believed every word she spoke and noticed that they held no anger or sadness, they only deemed to be full of love.


	7. Chapter 7

Gordon had to admit that all this information was perfect for a new book. He could easily turn this into a Horror/Romance novel. The ideas were pounding in his head, but he doubted that she came in here to give him his next best seller.

"Why are you telling me all of this?"

"Skulduggery trusts you." She said with a shrug of her shoulders. "I know how hard he finds it to trust people, when his family... died, I was the only one that managed to get so much of a word out of him. He took his frustrations out on annoying me. I knew what it meant, he lost many friends for it but I was the only one that managed to put up with him and his ridiculous notion of being superior to everyone else." she sighed and adjusted herself in her seat. "But instead of feeling insulted like everyone does, I felt honored."

Gordon snorted. "You felt honored that he chose you to pick on?"

"Let me explain it this way. Imagine a small immature child that doesn't have any direction in life, with no one to guide, let alone lead him. Now picture him calling for help in his own annoying way, only for people he chose to trust to turn their backs on him. They don't know that by doing it they're hurting him in the process."

He winced. That was not a pretty picture. He knew that right now that she needed a friend, or was a psychotic person sent to kill him because she's a secret agent working for Serpine. He laughed at the last one. _Where did that come from?_ **(Authors Note: She's not. Just read on to see why I wrote this.) **_Friends tell each other things right? Females like to talk about their feelings. Oh god! Am I going to hurt her feelings if I don't talk? Is that why she mentioned the story about why 'Skulduggery' is hurting? Is SHE hurting? Calm down Gordon._ He told himself. _You've got this._

"I used to be a miserable teenage sod once." _Nice going idiot, now she'll think you're unworthy of her time. Is that going to hurt her feelings to? Because of her poor lapse in judgement?_

"I believed in these stories my grand father would tell us, as we grew older my grand father grew sicker. One day I asked him to tell me another story, but he couldn't because my father forbid it. He made my older sibling drill it into our heads that all the things he told us were false. When he died he took a little piece of my life with him. Being interested in the so-called _fairy tales_ made me an outcast in high school . The girl of my dreams left me for my for my brother, my books barely got published and my life was a mess. I decided I had enough of my humiliation and went to a bar with a fake ID. I met Skulduggery there, though I can't remember anything past throwing up on his shoes."

Valkyrie ignored the emotional crappy part of his speech and her brows furrowed with concentration as she tried to sense for a magical aurora around him.

"So you needed you needed Skulduggery to fill the void that your grandfather left in your life?" she asked trying to get a response out of him that would trigger some sort of magical spike."

"He filled that void in a way now that I think about it, he came into my life and gave me purpose. I am who I am because of him. I became cool after that meeting, I learned to store-"

"Has Skulduggery ever told you how he died?" She silently cursed his lack of magical response but she tried to pry harder.

By now Gordon realized that he was being interrogated and the thought of her working for Serpine seemed pretty likely right about now. _Damn! where was Skulduggery?_

"Now see here devil woman I-" he said slightly panicked. Should he have allowed her into the mansion?

"Have you ever heard about Nefarian Serpine?"

His blood ran cold and his magic spiked. Everything around him froze. He tried to focus on something. Anything. It was then that his mind flashed and showed him a few random images. He saw a gravestone... saw his niece finding the echo-stone he imprinted on, and uses from time to time to help him write stories... the broach he made sure to pass on to his least favorite sibling if he died so that it could be safe...and then there was nothing his last thought of conciousness was 'What the hell did I get myself into this time?'

Valkyrie sighed, relieved that he at some magical potential. Now all he had to do was harness it. _Yes..._ she thought to herself. _And then I would have the perfect gift for Skulduggery when he sees his friend happy... And of course Gordon can write more books as he thinks about his gift more.. though I wonder what I just experienced here. Did he just have a vision?_ She sighed. _It must have something to do with Serpine since he's so awfully familiar with that name. Skulduggery is going to be here soon so maybe I should leave._

After that last thought she thought it would be better if she stayed. She would get to speak to him sooner and besides, she was tired of all this running. It was raining outside and she didn't have anywhere else to go. So she dragged her host all the way up to the main bedroom and tossed him on the bed before residing in one of the other rooms. Soon her eyes closed and she was blanket by darkness, her coherent thoughts disappeared as soon as she fell into a blissfull sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Dreaming of her past has never been the easiest thing in Valkyrie Cain's life. How much can a person take, reliving all the horrors of the war? She was sadly reminded of one of her father's demands.

"No." she whispered and shook her head. "No, no, no… I'm too young daddy. I'm not ready yet."

She jolted awake and shot out of bed. Tugging on her now dry clothes, she got to the window and opened it letting in some fresh air. The rain had passed leaving behind a fresh scent, but she couldn't get enough. She felt as if she was slowly suffocating to death so, making an abrupt decision, she jumped out the window and soared into the air, promising to return. She thought she could handle it, but she knew that she needed more time. She was proud of herself for at least initiating contact with Mr. Edgley. All that she needed was to talk to Skulduggery maybe he could help her… now if I were a Skeleton detective where would I be? "_Maybe buried in the cemetery, hopefully resting in peace." _A voice in her head answered. _Stupid voice_ she cursed under her breath.

She came across a lone house sitting on top of a hill, on the edge of _Cemetery Road._

_Well the name says it all, he's a skeleton, and is too ego logistical for his own good, hence the humor in the name. Plus, he's lonely. And if I'm stupid enough not to realize that this is where he lives I can always appreciate his taste in classical cars, as a Bentley happens to be parked in the driveway._

She flew towards the house and discretely looked through the window, not making any sudden movements. She knew that reading the air was the oldest and most required skill in the book. Though, if he was living here long it meant that he would probably recognize where everything is. And since she was the newest and temporary addition to the house it meant that he's either distracted or he knows she was here and is playing a game where he won't suspect the trespasser but is hoping for a jolly good laugh that he think he would get in… 3…2…

Before the last second she jumped onto the roof and peered down where the skeleton detective was now scratching his head, and then read the air again for any disturbances, finding her once more. This time she backed up and waited for him to land beside her. And when he did it was her that did the laughing as he almost fell off the roof with shock.

"V-Valkyrie?"

She didn't answer but just continued laughing, this clutching her stomach as she laughed even harder at his putting face.

"Oh, Skulduggey! You really know how to make a woman laugh." She said, her laughter dying down.

"Where have you been?" he asked in a serious tone of voice. She could understand his anger, but wasn't in the mood for it right now, so she brushed his question aside with a wave of her hand.

"I came to settle the matter of my father's will. I figured it was the least I could do. I came to find you, but you were too involved with Guild I didn't really want to draw attention to myself. Now I need to get that piece of parchment form Guilds office and I need someone working there-"

He put his hand up, gesturing for her to stop talking. "May I please ask for a few mere moments to take in the fact that you are alive?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You always knew I was alive."

"It was never a fact."

"I remember you once saying that everything stored inside your head is true, what happened to that Skulduggery?"

"Probably in the same dimension as your answer is to '_WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE PAST FOUR HUNDRED YEARS_?!'"

"Ah, I'm afraid that such a dimension does not exist. And if the Skulduggery I once held a companionship with is no longer here then I see no reason to prolong my visit any further." She snapped.

"Do you know how much I suffered knowing you were _dead _Valkyrie? You just left shortly after my wife and child were _murdered_."

"It's not my fault my father didn't allow me to stay after he was crowned an elder!" she shot back.

"You could've called! Text! Anything! You were the grand mage's daughter! I doubt he left you in the middle of no where with _nothing_!"

"As a daughter to the Grand Mage I held certain responsibilities and was rarely offered any choice in what had to be done. And you _bloody_ well know that fact better than any body!"

"I also knew you were never one to obey orders. You never listened to your father, except for the time when he gave me your hand! My fiancé gets killed in the middle of a war and four hundred years later I find out that not only is alive but she is very…" he paused then tilted his head, as if he had an idea of some sort.

_Uh-oh_, said the voice in her head.

**(A/N: Gets a little steamy here.)**

She was shocked when he wrapped an arm around her middle and pressed her closer to him. When he spoke next, his voice was filled with mischievous innocence.

"She is also very, **very **beautiful and available to be my date for the upcoming Relinqiem Ball."

And just like that, both of their raging tempers dulled down to none-existence. Her hands made their way up his arms and she laced her fingers round his neck, leaning into his embrace.

"I'm afraid I have plans on that day." She said in the same tone.

"I believe I failed to mention the details of the event, but please amuse me and tell me of these so-called plans of yours." He said, grazing his teeth on the side of her neck.

"… I'm afraid all of my coherent thoughts have skipped my mind at this present time." She struggled to say, biting down a moan as his hands started to wander.

"Will you accept the honor of being my escort to the Ball, Miss Cain?" he chuckled seductively, slipping a gloved hand under her shirt. He traced circles on her stomach; he watched as she started grinding against his leg and purred while nodding her head. He nipped the skin under him and felt her shudder. He grinned smugly to himself, he still had it… or not.

**(End of steamy scene)**

Then the words seemed to register in her brain. All of a sudden she snapped out of her stupor. She silently berated herself she will not let this predicament get the best of her.

"Impatient Skulduggery?" she asked tilting away a little.

"If you haven't yet noticed, I lack all the necessary organs your dirty little mind needs dear Valkyrie. So no, I'm in no hurry at all."

She smiled up at him, noting how they never left each others arms. _This would be a grand opportunity to re-introduce herself to Ireland_, she thought. _If I don't do it soon I might as well sacrifice myself to Elder robes right this instant._

"I have an idea."

"Oh dear." He said looking down at her.

"When is the Ball?"


End file.
